Sorry Mom (by Sana♡,Calcutta)
by Sana♡
(Calcutta)
Mother, forgive me, Mother _by Sana♡
Sorry for being a useless child mother..I am trying to be perfect like them..YOU say a ton of hurtful words to me every day..I know it's because you want me to be perfect,I love you and I don't wanna disappoint you..But your words are affecting me allat these days, you are NEVER happy with me..I know I'm a bad child and I'm trying to change myself but you keep demotivating me, tho! I act like I don't really care but, deep down it hurts mother..I want to see you happy but I see I'm the disappointment, you make me feel depressed and insecure.. Thank you for everything you are the BEST mother..You even said that I'm a boring person and I can never be like THEM, my eyes filled with tears when you said that..I ran to the bathroom to see myself in the mirror, face red and sniffing hard, I put my head into the bathtub filled with water..Tried to hold my breath and leave, but I lost..Came out as if nothing happened..I'm good at hiding feelings and tears, you push me away when I try to hug you..You say that I'm dull and uninteresting..You get irritated whenever I'm around, but I still love you mother I know it's all for my own good..I'm sick, I'm exhausted mother..I wish I was never your child, I wish I never came into existence..You deserve a child like them to whom you constantly compare me to..They really are beautiful and perfect..I'm the problem..I don't really wanna play the victim card, even tho I'm the real victim here, Or maybe it's YOU..But I promise I'll continue struggling till the end to make you feel happy about me, with time I realized that leaving is not the solution..I have to survive this battle between us,,I expect no support, no help, and no love..I've no expectations from you or anybody else,, just don't hurt my feelings and break my heart into pieces..I'm trying and I'll try harder..Again I'm sorry mother..
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